I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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