I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
