Fine. I'll sleep in my office
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
