after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
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He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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