It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
