i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
