And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
So many bounce houses so little time
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I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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