Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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