My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
