Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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