Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I love having hate sex.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
