I want to walk on stilts...naked
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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