'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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