whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Boobs are out for the taking
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
