Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
