like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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