The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
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Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
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Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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