Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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