My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
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