It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
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