apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
