It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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