Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize