they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Randomize
