The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
