And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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