I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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