Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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