He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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