he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
The feeling are messing with the penis
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
