Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You are the jesus of drinking
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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