I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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