I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
