i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
The air taste purple.
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