all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
