Heybabeimwearingurpanties
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
