Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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