too bad you live with your parents still
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
