anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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