Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
