I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
