just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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