I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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