Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
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