How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
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Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
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I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
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