If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize