Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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