Need sex. Gaining weight.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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