worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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