I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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