2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Boobs are out for the taking
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
