Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
