For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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