she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I love having hate sex.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I think your dad took our porno
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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