Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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