I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize