Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
