I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I just want to make out with him forever
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
