no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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