thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize