some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
