She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
