Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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