She is in my trunk
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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