You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Lo siento on account of my penis...
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
