I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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